i won't say anything

APRIL 29, 2010..Thursday...

Woke up really early today.. I guess i'm having a bad hair day again... i just realized that my mind stopped working.. it's like what the hell am i doing with my life? am i not thinking? or am i thinking too much that i could not even distinguish an answer from a question? WHERE IS MY FUCKIN' MIND?????

I am gullible.. my good old friend just slapped it out into my face... adj. gullible - naive and easily decieved or tricked.. he asked me if i know someone like that.. and as per definition, i said YES.. with no doubt, ME!.. easily tricked because of being too trusting.. always believe that things can ONLY get better.. so not fuckin' true but i keep on sticking it into my mind... what a crap!

APRIL 29, 2010... supposedly turning 5 today.. i have this fuckin' sickness of holding on into something worth throwing away... it ended months ago...no doubt about that.. so why do i still keep on counting? i dunno... maybe because i have something planned and i still haven't done yet.. i really don't know.. i need to keep my mind working again... my heart's too overworked.. maybe it should stop beating for awhile...

STOP. But when do i stop eating my words??? goodbye should be goodbye ayt? but it's not always the case for me.. it aint over 'til it's over, so i say... but when do i say it's really over? .. everybody says i should stop, it's such a unanimous decision.. but i'm listening with deaf ears.. it's not that i don't see what they all see but it's as if i don't really mind it...but are they seeing what i see? absolutely not..or maybe i'm just creating a world of illusion that things are going to be better soon, that things would go accordingly..

Now i'm back to saying goodbye again..for the Nth time.. When do i possibly stop saying goodbye and ending up saying hello again???? Life isn't fair, so they say.. but is life really unfair? NO.. i don't think it is. Cos if we really think that it is, then it is as if saying God is unfair.. Who created life? Who gave us life?.. We can't always get what we want, that's a fact.. it's all about perspective.. Actually, if you try to look at things clearly, it's all my fault.. i asked for it.. so whatever is happening to me , i am taking full responsibility.. it's not his fault.. he made it clear but i didn't leave.. so for the nth time i'm telling you, please don't hate him..

i won't say anything.. (Teddy Geiger)

Contemplating over River's death

APRIL 23, 2010... Friday

Contemplating over River's death.. Oh yeah! River's dead.. River who? Baby River.. died at the age of two.. such a short time to live,such a tragic death.. I could still remember playing with him everytime his lola brings him to our home.. kicking that fancy stuffed ball as if playing soccer indoors.. his smile was so real.. his laugher was contagious.. i miss him...

His death made me think what if that was me? would i be ready? would the people around me now, miss me when i'm gone?... i really don't know....

would i be really proud of myself?... i dunno.. should i be?.. don't wanna be the judge.. but i'd like to think that those people i'm with now, would appreciate those simple things i did and will still do in the future ... this is why i would like to keep this page for as long as i can, so when i get old i get to read over these pages again and reminisce all the things from the past...

my LOST SUMMER (a memoir)

Been loving summer ever since i dont know when.. it never ended.. i never stopped... tried liking another season but at the end of the day i find myself still looking for that prickly heat that the summer sun brings.. it's hot.. it burns.. and it burns like hell..

but guess u can't keep anything forever.. especially when you are no longer in control.. sometimes, u have to take a little time off the sun to cool down a bit and excuse yourself from further damage... seasons change... eventually, that lost summer will regain it's life...

April 9, 2010... Friday

deep contemplation.. actually it was unplanned... things didn't go well that night.. it was almost midnight and i was eating at DIMSUM alone.. to my surprise i didn't finish the noodle that i was eating... it's just so not me..

after that unfinished meal, found myself walking along the lonely streets of downtown.. i didn't have an exact place to go.. spotted DUNKIN from afar so i decided to have coffee..

a lot of things were running through my mind... some good, some bad... a lot of things not worth thinking... found myself biting my stirrer again... guess i just needed a little comfort...



April 10, 2010... Saturday

woke up early... not the best way to wake up though... had a late breakfast... buffet wasn't that good i should say... after eating i took some fun shots again... guess i should call this my trademark pose.. lol


Lunchtime.....



Had lunch at Marina, Lanang... not really in the mood for eating... i was thinking too much that time... thinking of the things that i'd rather not think if only i can....

April 11, 2010... Sunday

Didnt feel good when i woke up... SUPER HEADACHE!... if only i can tell the whole story on what had happened that dawn... but i guess it's none of anybody's business so i'd rather zip my mouth and keep my silence... besides, i am not really a fan of advices... i hate it... it's like if i need your help all you have to do is shut your mouth and listen.. just let me do the talking... i would appreciate it more that way...

went to class with a major headache.. had to go to the lavatory a number of times to vomit.. i was really not feeling well... it was just a shitty day for me... dropped by Mandarin to have my asado,chicken,wanton noodle soup...

i was supposed to go to my cousin's birthday party... but i decided to go home and just take a rest and hopefully a break with the effin head and heart aches...

April 14, 2010... Wednesday

Met up with someone to deliver a pair of swimsuits... since my HOME ALONE life started last monday, i decided to buy new plates, glasses and etc... lol... call it diversion...lol..

had my famous bowl at KFC for dinner...

April 18, 2010.. Sunday

class ended early... ate with my girls at Time Square.. had ham and cheese bunwich and this arrozcaldo... the egss were not actually included but still i got them for free... yay!....

WHO SAID I CAN'T COOK???

i actually can but i just don't want to... but last Friday i decided to treat myself... too bad my sissy's not around, she can't eat these yummy treats... lol

April 16, 2010.. Friday... SPAGHETTI ala CEANGY

April 18, 2010.. Sunday... YUMMY BULALO STEAK (credits to Icholle)

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TEA (tee-yah) (April 18, 2010)

my new hermie from CRABitat... yay!... now i have 2 babies: Vito (my virtual baby) and TEA (my little hermie)... welcome home baby T...

FROGGY TRASHY (April 18, 2010)

a froggy treat with a card from Icholle...yay! thanks te...

CARD DETAILS..

THE SUN WILL SURELY COME BACK SMILING ;-)

the GOOD LIFE that lasted for 4 days and 3 nights

APRIL 1, 2010... Thursday...

FLIGHT SCHEDULE: Philippine Airlines... April 01, 2010.. Thursday... 07:10AM..

Holy week... Holiday... No work... Long Vacation... what do you expect? a number of travellers and long lines at the airport...

I booked my flights online at http://www.philippineairlines.com/ days ago... that's what i actually promised myself after what had happened on my last Cebu Pacific Flight to Manila... PAL is way better than Cebu Pac... and that's a FACT!

I didn't wait that long actually... that old joke about PAL being Plane Always Late did not really materialize... the flight was on time and it was even minutes ahead of the estimated time...

During the flight, i was seated at Seat 63H... next to me was a middle-aged woman who did not show any interest for some chitchats, so i decided to play with my cam instead of sleeping...

My first shot: a RAINBOW reflection at the wall next to the comfort room...hmmmm... not another sign huh?! lol...

Free PAL inflight foods: VOICE coated wafer, Greaseless Salted Peanuts and Nescafe Coffee...

Took a picture of the aircraft's safety tips before and during the flight... AVOID CAFFEINE but offer coffee? lol...

Mannerism 101: biting straws, stirrers, anything that i can possibly bite especially when i get bored ..lol... poor stirrer! cut his head and neck off.. lol...

My other seatmate... ssshhhh.. he's reading... actually, this man gave his violent reaction upon seeing a woman approach the guy on the check-in counter.. he thought she was cutting the long, slow-moving line.. but the woman actually went back after paying her travel tax... DON'T JUDGE mister! KNOW THE FACTS! lol....

Dinner Time: My first YakiMIX experience... the place actually opens at 6pm.. but if you go there at 6pm, you'll end up waiting for like 48 years.. we came there almost an hour before the said opening time but the thing is, we didn't expect that reservations should be made... so we ended up waiting for like more than an hour just to get a table... Chinese and Koreans flooded the whole place... it was like 'hey! where am i?' ... lol

FOOD was great! maybe that's why lots of people are really willing to wait... i actually forgot to take pictures of my first plate... i was too hungry to remember.. lol...

me... having my first YakiMIX dinner..yumyum..

SOOOOOO FULL!..

HOME SWEET HOME.... night!

APRIL 2, 2010... Friday

Woke up Late.. blame it on the heavy dinner..lol..

BREAKFAST: Spinach Soup, Boiled Eggs and Orange Juice...

Tried to go online but Globe Tattoo wasn't that speedy so i ended up watching cartoons on Cartoon Network... i don't really believe that cartoons are just for kiddos... til now i find it entertaining and i can watch it the whole day (not into animes though)...

5PM... Basketball Time... i was so dressed up for shooting some hoops.. pink sleeveless top, shorty shorts, my LIVESTRONG baller, socks, nike shoes and a MOLTEN bball... but guess what? i ended up just watching the guys play til dark.... it was fun watching though...

9PM ... Swimming Time.. slid like 1 cover-up and 3 bikinis on my baggage.. pretty excited to hit the beach... but i wasn't able to go somewhere near the beach... sigh... instead, i just spent like half an hour on the pool to relax and feel the cold water wash the summer heat.. it's actually better than not going anywhere ayt?...

9:30PM... DINNER at Claire dela Fuente's Seafoods and Grill ...

All set for another dinner in Hollister, shorty shorts, Ipanema slip-ons and my glasses...

i usually go for FOUR SEASONS juice....

Ordered 1/2 Kilo of Crabs in butter and garlic which i finished alone... lol... kinda messy but i don't actually care... not that particular with the cholesterol thing cos it's not like i always eat crabs... it's just giving in to my craving.... had squid (pusit), kinilaw, halaan soup and crispy kangkong... believe it or not... for the whole meal, i only ate like half cup of rice... yay!

April 03, 2010... Saturday...

Woke up with a banging headache and a runny nose...sooo lucky!! .... took a tablet of ibuprofen and one Zyrtec.... yay! happy again....

La Prairie.. http://www.shoplaprairie.com/ ...CELLULAR SERUM PLATINUM RARE costs $650 each???? CELLULAR EYE CREAM PLATINUM RARE(20ml) is at $350???? WTF!!!!

2PM... Lunch at RACKS... had baby ribs and chicken with a spinach sidedish together with a bottomless iced tea.... yum..yum...

me enjoying a heavy meal after the headache and colds...

Planned to watch a movie but the line was sooo long and the next movie schedule for IMAX was at past 5... no other choice but to go mall-walking to kill the time...

walk..and walk....

NEXT STOP:

BANANA SPLIT the traditional way..... looks soooo yummy!

had BALL of FIRE... choco ice cream cake fired up with rhum.... but the thing is, u get to see a short sing and dance performance of two staffs singing "blah..blah... BALL OF FIRE"..then the other crew lighted the whole cake... kewl! ..it's a big cake actually, but i ate it all...lol...

Lost the interest in watching IMAX... so decided to go home.... it was like past 5pm and it's basketball time again... i was hoping to do the hoops this time... but theyoung guys were playing again so i ended up sitting and waiting when will they get tired of playing..lol....

yay! finally they're done... i got the court all to myself... got some balls in but got more balls out...lol...

Got really tired after the little exercise... i slept instantly.... when i woke up it was like almost midnight... got dressed for a dinner AGAIN... yay! ... i actually found myself a SUPERHERO date...lol

April 04, 2010... Sunday

12:20am... Dinner at PRESIDENT TEA HOUSE...

obviously, there was a tea...lol... hot tea actually....

here's for the midnight dinner .................. (PINKY: the stuffed dog came free with the shake)

FULL!

Should head back HOME... flight will be at 6AM...

4AM... got upt...got dressed...went to the airport like a quarter to 5am... fight is actuallly at 6am... when i looked at the schedule of flights it said there, CLOSED... aawwww.. NOT AGAIN! good thing i took the PAL flight and was a mabuhay miler so mr. ticketman still accepted me...yay!!! i love PAL!

Watched HURT LOCKER during the flight....

HOME SWEET HOME!

Now i'm starting to miss the GOOD LIFE... no worries... no pressures.. no stress... no arguments... just food, fun, sleep and cartoons! ...

10 Things i will really miss when i get back to DAVAO....

1. waking up really late

2. sleeping and waking up in a really comfy bed and cold room (my room badly needs an AC)

3. hot/cold shower

4. shower gels and super nice shampoo and conditioner (i think the name starts with N.. not sure)

5. free food

6. free transportation

7. shooting hoops and watching basketball games

8. dipping at the pool

9. watching cartoons whenever you want

10. having good conversations

can i actually ask for a little extension?????

guess GOOD THINGS never last.... BACK TO REALITY then!