Lost Flower : Search for the Missing Color

now i'm thinking,

he could have been mine.

i could have been her.

it was only a matter of time.

one of my favorite photos he sent me years ago

i met someone years ago. i met him on an online pool game. we had our own share of conversations. we chatted even without playing. we exchanged snail mails and photographs back then. there was a connection between us, i suppose. but it was distance that was against us. i had my life, he had his own. sadly, it was me who took the first step back. i stopped communicating. i guess it was because somebody else came. he found another love. i fell deeply for another. years has passed and i never heard from him. but months ago, time brought us together again. he was finally free, i was somewhat not. we talked like strangers again, trying to rebuild a lost friendship. i liked him even before. but i was too preoccupied with somebody else. so i gave him the hint of a NO. i remember him saying that it was too bad cos he's saving up to come over. sigh. and it ended everything again. time was definitely against us. he's free and i'm not. i'm free and he's not. i guess it's just not meant to be. now i can see how happy he is. one guy who once said he was not yet ready to marry, has finally tied the knot  last september, i think after year of his new relationship.i'm looking at their photos now and i can say he's really happy. i am happy for him. indeed, she's one lucky girl. 

Dear friend, 

this song will forever remind me of you.
it still gives me jitters every now and then though.
oh yes, this has been your song every since.

i'm still searching for the photo of a flower you took while visiting arizona.
 you wrote: "this was the only color i could find in the desert."
now i'm thinking, would i ever see that color again? i just hope so.
you and me is just plain you and me in reality.
i can't help but wonder what could have been.
but still i must thank you.
you are surely one of my FOREVER NEVERs.

xxx,

ceangy