I have asked this question to myself a hundred times, "What do i want people to remember in me when the future comes to steal the day?". I am not part of the royal family that people will surely speak highly of me. I am not an actress that people will talk about the movies i made or the awards i got. I am just an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life, in an ordinary world. So what then will the people around me say when they come together and talk of me?
there are 10 things that i would like people to remember when they think of me.
i want to be remembered as the girl....
- who could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own. making other people happy even in your own down days is not that easy. but as much as i can, i smile and act as if nothing is bothering me cos i have always believed that emotions are contagious. if you are happy, those people surrounding you will also be happy. (well, unless she's your enemy, she will feel otherwise. lol).
- who can be anybody's true friend. all my mom's friends would agree that my mom is really a good one, an ideal best friend i should say. and all throughout my lifetime, i have been trying my best to follow her footsteps but failed a hundred times. she doesn't hold grudges, i do. she easily forgives, i don't. truth is, i can easily make friends and i can guarantee true and lasting friendship. i value loyalty much and finds betrayal between friends unforgivable. and that's where the problem starts. it's just so sad that i already lost some. but one thing is for sure, i don't hate without valid and validated reasons. so if you are complaining, please think twice and evaluate. i love my friends, i would protect and keep them the best way i can, so i don't just ditch any of them.
- who has always believed in LOVE. yes, for the nth time i will forever be grateful that i was given the chance to experience love on the third degree. love may have chosen to fly away but still it is not a reason to easily give up. no i don't hate him. i never reached that point. although sometimes i see myself asking for it. i have always believed that i have to be enraged inorder for me to make moving on easier. but sadly, that is not the case, it was never the case. guess, my feelings are much more powerful than the hate and anger i've been wanting to have. now i'm just hoping for the best. soon. i also want to be remembered as a loving daughter who would give my fam the best life i could (well, that i have to work on. lol) and the best mom for my Pretty Baby Niji who have been my constant companion for more than a year now.
- who invests much on memories. i'm into saving memories.taking pictures has been my passion. i have always believed that it's good to have something to remind us of the past, both good and bad. i don't have a car but i already bought four cameras to date. i gave the last one i bought to my little sissy, while the first one is still alive but barely breathing. lol. my cams are my prized possessions that's why i can't just lend it to anyone.
- who has the sunniest disposition in life. i am not the type of person who just sits still, shuts my mouth and watch everybody else do their stuffs. honestly, i can't really shut my mouth. well, zipping my mouth only happens in three situations: when i'm pissed off /angry, when i'm sleepy and not on the mood and when i'm sleeping. so most of the time you will see me chatting with friends, old and new. i love to see people smile and laugh. it makes me happy inside. that's why as much as possible i want to display a happy me when i'm with them. i love reminding people to get rid of the negative vibes even though sometimes i tend to forget to apply it. i just want the people around me to be happy. simple as that.
- who keeps on sending inspirational messages. i have been sending daily inspirational and devotional messages to friends on my phonebook. but there was a time that i suddenly stopped thinking i could no longer do it. it was not because i found the act a bit costly but because i found it inappropriate. i was then at my lowest point. the world seemed to stop around me. i ceased running. i stopped doing zumba. i ate a lot but lost weight even more in the process. i was just holding on to the little faith i had. and so i stopped texting. but now i realized, my friends may need it more than i do. their thank yous and amens are food for my heart. and that's what keeps me going.
- who loves running. i've been running for years. i have done a number of runs, both early morning and night runs. it has been my passion. my body started to look for it. my body was loving every step i made. it was actually a few hours break from reality. when i run, all i think of is finishing the race. i call it my life from the starting line to the finish line. nobody dictates you what to do when you are inside the race. it's like leaving everything you are worrying about for a few minutes or hours. i just love running. it's not also all about the race. it's more of gaining confidence and pride while meeting new friends in the process. i miss my runaways family. i suddenly stopped running and it has been months now, since february 2012 to be exact. it was when i got a knee injury plus a broken heart all at the same time. i want to go back soon. i will go back really soon. keeping my fingers crossed. see you all!
- who has her way with kids. ever since, i have always loved babies and kiddos. my mom knows that well. they remind me not to complicate life and be happy with just anything. even my nieces and nephews love to stay in my bedroom and play. i have stored candies, crayons, water colors, color pencils, drawing book, toys and stuffs. i even prefer watching cartoons more than any series or movies. i don't know but kids make me happy. their smiles are so precious. their laughters are music to my ears. i just love how simple things make them happy. i even dream of spending my next birthday with kids with cancer. hopefully, i can do it.
- who looks like a total biatch but a real girl next door in disguise. i love wearing skimpy shorts, body-hugging dresses, sexy bikinis and stuffs like that. i've got a number of sexy beach photos which people may think that i'm overly exposing myself to others. i am not the conservative type when it comes to dressing up or having photoshoots with friends. i also find it easier to mingle with guys than girls. well, this is me. people may have tagged me accordingly basing on those. well, that doesn't affect me much though. just so you would know, i had my first relationship when i was already working. and that i only had ONE boyfriend at my age of 30 which actually lasted for seven years, and a long distance relationship. and i'm proud to say that i never played around. so i guess it would be safe to say that you should scratch out your notion of me being a playgirl now. lol. looks can be decieving hunny. well, actually i can easily be a biatch if i really want to. well, anybody else can.
- who loves adventure. i am an adventure-seeker. i am the type of person who loves to try new stuffs and visit new places. i don't settle with what's conventional. i even travel alone. well, i find spending alone time away from home exciting and comforting. it's always good to explore new destinations, try new delicacies, learn more about their culture and meet random people, without worrying about anyone but yourself. i'd like to do an inverted zip, bungee jump and learn how to swim so i can join a triathlon. well, hopefully soon. i actually got a number of things to do. i just hope i can do it all especially the travelling part.
so how then will you talk of me?
Seduction Secret #58: Don’t apologize for what you want. Go after it. -Victoria's Secret
