Death of a Rose

i used to have the most beautiful roses at the office but today was different. a rose died with me. it was midnight when i came across a shocking news that made me somewhat question my self worth. the idea was open to me but i did not realize it could happen this soon. it was just unacceptable. 

so here's the scenario. he recently got married. yes, my past married his new girl last month. it felt like i was stabbed directly a hundred times straight to the heart when i came to know it. at that very moment, my heart skipped a beat. i could not breathe and literally i felt my heart crushed.at that moment, i died in an instant.

so what then if he got married? he's already part of my past, why should i be affected? before you judge me, please try to hear my side. he broke up with me last year. our seven-year long distance relationship officially ended on the last week of june 2012, informally. yes, informally. he broke up with me on a chat. he stopped talking to me when i started to confront him about something i found out, that i for sure had the right to know. i took his silence as an admission and his easiest way of saving his ass for something he could not find a perfect excuse with. that was on a february. i tried contacting him every possible way i could think of, bombarding him with messages on his phone and emails. for months i did that. what can you expect of me, people get crazy when they fall madly inlove right? then came june. right after my week in boracay, i got a little surprise again. this girl who happened to be a dermatologist in manila posted a picture of the two of them at his condo and made it her profile pic. reading the comments, it was pretty obvious that they are a couple. i believe the picture was taken in between december-january 2012 when we were still together. i tried to talk to him. sent him an email trying to ask for an explanation. but then again i failed. to get everybody on the right time frame, it was on June 24, 2012 that he finally sent me a message. we had a serious conversation over messenger.

IM Jun 24, 2012 6:34:59 PM

6:23:29 PM  G: Y

6:24:04 PM  ceangy: I have to ask you something

6:25:34 PM  G: Ano

6:26:25 PM  ceangy: Kayo na ba o tayo pa?

6:27:50 PM  G: Saan k ba

6:29:34 PM  G: Kala ko wala na tayo

6:30:06 PM  ceangy: Ha? I didnt know that

6:30:29 PM  ceangy: I waited for you to say it

6:30:40 PM  G: Hindi na tayo nag usap

6:30:55 PM  G: I think mas ok na ganun

6:31:01 PM  ceangy: U stopped talking

6:31:13 PM G: And u 2

6:31:30 PM  ceangy: U should have told me. I waited for u endlessly

6:31:47 PM  G: I cant say it

6:31:59 PM  ceangy: Y?

6:32:08 PM  G: Bec i like u a lot

6:32:31 PM  ceangy: And what happened?

6:32:39 PM  G: And we not leveling up

6:32:42 PM  ceangy: And what happened?

6:33:16 PM  ceangy: Cos u were distancing urself

6:33:16 PM  ceangy: U were never really open to me

6:33:18 PM  G: Ya

6:33:52 PM  ceangy: Y?

6:34:03 PM  ceangy: U know how much i feel for u right?

6:34:07 PM  G: Bec i dont want to hurt u

6:34:20 PM  G: I know

6:34:59 PM  ceangy: U r hurting me by not talking

6:35:00 PM  ceangy: I waited

6:35:16 PM  ceangy: Kse alam ko u only talk when u want to talk

6:35:25 PM  G: I cant commit

6:35:44 PM  ceangy: Who asked u to?

6:35:45 PM  G: If i talk

6:35:59 PM  G: Recycle ulit tayo

6:36:06 PM  ceangy: Who asked u to?

6:36:10 PM  ceangy: I know that from the start. U were never into commitment

6:36:19 PM  ceangy: But i gambled

6:36:33 PM  G: Til when

6:37:30 PM  ceangy: Til u ask me to stop

6:37:52 PM  G: I love u pero hangang doon lang

6:38:08 PM  ceangy: Did i ask for more?

6:38:16 PM  G: Stop n lang

6:38:29 PM  ceangy: Did i ever ask u to marry me?

6:38:39 PM  ceangy: I never did that

6:38:49 PM  G: No

6:38:58 PM  G: Pero paano ka

6:39:05 PM  ceangy: Kse alam ko u were never into it

6:39:32 PM  G: Hangan ganito lang ako

6:39:33 PM  ceangy: Anong paano ako?

6:39:53 PM  G: Waiting for nothing

6:40:06 PM  ceangy: I never asked u to be more than what u are

6:40:20 PM  G: I know

6:40:50 PM  G: Pero i cant stay with this kind of relationship

6:41:01 PM  ceangy: Y?

6:41:14 PM  G: Either u move out or me

6:41:18 PM  G: Out

6:41:39 PM  ceangy: Y?

6:42:06 PM  G: Kasi pag nagusap pa tayo baka will start it again

6:45:28 PM6:42:14 PM  G: Tapos wala din

6:42:25 PM  ceangy: Y r u afraid of that?

6:42:30 PM  G: I know u love me a lot

6:42:35 PM  G: Same here

6:42:41 PM  G: Pero

6:42:51 PM  G: I cant be with u

6:42:53 PM  ceangy: Bakit kelangan ganito?

6:43:09 PM  ceangy: Y ?

6:43:25 PM  G: Siguro ganun lang siguro tayo

6:43:53 PM  G: So better to be a good friend cguro

6:44:34 PM  ceangy: Kse kayo na?

6:44:35 PM  G: I have 2 go now

6:44:36 PM  ceangy: It started in boracay right?

6:44:52 PM  ceangy: Go?

6:44:52 PM  G: Talk to u later

6:45:06 PM  ceangy: Lets talk later

6:45:17 PM  ceangy: We have to

---end of conversation---

"i can't commit." oh yeah.. but after a few months you're married??? now where would that put me?? i began to question myself. am i not a wife material??? have i not been a good girlfriend for seven years??? did she know he was still taken that time??? i don't know what to feel. i was too numb and confused to think. my mind stopped working. i could not understand everything. as far as i know, their relationship started before ours officially ended. and he married her in an instant? we still had our last conversation on my birthday month, and that would be August. we had a good chat that time. we had flirting going on again. but he proposed to her by the end of last year? you tell me how am i supposed to feel?!

i knew it was coming. but i never thought it would happen this fast. i was still on the moving on thing. it  was already clear to me that we are not really getting back together. yes, honestly i was pretty sure of that.i don't think things would be the same after what he did if he ever comes back. but i was still hoping for a more decent closure. i was still praying for that explanation to come to at least put my heart to ease. seven years is seven long years, not seven months, not even seven days. come to think of it, how can we not decently talk about how to end it the right way?!  not even a single call came. no nothing.

i tried to find comfort that midnight. good thing my little buddy Niji was in the house to bring some love. i hugged her tightly. it was just so comforting. i tried to talk to some friends. i just have to find those people who are ready to listen. i just have to release even a bit of what i'm feeling. i tried to understand everything but i really couldn't. now i think why a friend's message got stucked on my mind. he was totally  right, I DON'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND anything. i just have to go through it.

but for now, i have to take some time alone to think and reevaluate myself.  TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. BUT NOW IS NOT YET THE RIGHT TIME TO DO IT... i know   i should forget everything and move on but i don't want to force it. JUST LET ME BLEED FOR NOW. i will  for sure get myself back. i owe that to myself. i definitely can't wait to travel and fly away and feel at ease again. i just want to be happy. and i don't think that's too much to ask. i actually posted these notes on my phone the day before that incident happened. maybe this is God's answer to my prayers.

yes, a day before that, i was already claiming that i would finally fall in love perfectly with the one this year and be truly happy. and looking at this now makes me realize that maybe this is God's way of answering my prayers. maybe the time has finally come to put everything to a sudden stop. i could not do my moving on/ moving forward slowly anymore. everything has to stop. i could not possibly fall perfectly inlove with someone if i won't let go of that person who i was once madly inlove with. i am a love-believer and i haven't ceased to be one after everything that has happened. yes, everything happens for a reason. and indeed, what's meant to happen will happen.

and i am very much thankful for those people who never turned their backs on me. you know who you are. you will always be remembered. thank you so much. 

someday i will come across this post again and will be reminded of everything. but when that time comes, i know i will have that smile on my face. and i will be proud of myself for getting through this.definitely, i am claiming it!

honestly, i still wish them the best. and i hope love will never leave them. i am hurt now but still i am okay. 

13 Things to Love in Boracay

and for the Nth time i kept on waking up in the wee hours of the morning.. this has been going on for days now.. so today instead of forcing myself to go back to sleep which is definitely a struggle for me, i decided to do a blog entry about what i'm thinking  at this very moment.

BORACAY!

Boracay is a small island in the Philippines located approximately 315 km (196 mi) south of Manila and 2 km off the northwest tip of Panay Island in the Western Visayas region of the Philippines.

i have been to Boracay for like three times. and it was definitely love at first sight. well, you can't blame me. i am a beach lover and i should say Boracay is a paradise for me.

August 2011

June 2012

December 2012

Boracay has been a happy place for me ever since. and i definitely have reasons to love it even more on every visit i make.

here are my own list of 13 Things to LOVE in Boracay

1. the long stretch of white fine sand and beach. i need not say why. it's pretty obvious why i fell in love with it in the first place.

2. Boracay Early Morning Run. i always do morning runs along the whole stretch of Boracay's white beach, that's from end to end. i don't really mind doing it alone. running somewhat connects me to the place even more.

3. Parasailing. i actually did this twice and i would do it again and again in the future if i can. it just feels so good to be up in the air and think of nothing while watching the beauty of the whole place.

4. Buggy Car Driving. i don't know how to drive a real car. i only do driving at the arcardes. but Boracay made me realize i would definitely love driving along the road and i do good at it without assistance. one of my firsts.

5. Sunset Paraw Sailing. strong wind plus strong current plus a great view of the sunset and the island lights is just a perfect experience.

6. Boracay Sunset and Stargazing along the the shore. i have never seen a sunset as lovely as Boracay's. it is definitely love for me. and i will never ever get tired of watching it.and stargazing along the shore is just so relaxing.

7. Nightlife. happy hour is really a happy hour. people in Boracay really know how to party, and they party hard.

8. Calamansi Muffins. and after getting drunk the night before, you should definitely get a good taste of Boracay's Calamansi Muffins at Real Coffee and Tea Cafe.

9. Helmet Diving. i had a slightly different experience when i tried helmet diving  the first time. but Tutet and Ojie really had fun having all those pretty fishes around. and i think it is a must try though.

10. Henna Tattoos. i have always wanted to get inked. i am not really sure if i should get a real one, someday maybe. but for now i will just settle for hennas. oh how i love the latest black angel tat.

11. Shangrila Boracay. it is part of my bucketlist to spend even a night in Shang. so i lured Tutet and Ojie to have dinner with me. and yes, i don't mind paying much just to do the things that i really want to do.

12. Swimming. i love the water so much. and how i love swimming even though i haven't tried swimming in the deep sea without a lifevest on.haha.. but it's definitely a must-do when you go island hopping.

13. PUKA BEACH. save the best for last. i love how remote and private it is. perfect scenery indeed! so relaxing.. so calm...so private.. so peaceful..

i will definitely be back in Boracay. yes and that's really SOON.. can't wait!!!

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. LIVE and EXPLORE.

every place is worth a visit. 

every little thing is worth a try!

BLOGDRIVE: The Old School Blogspot

i was googling my name a few minutes ago trying to check on how they will show my profile.. i came across my previous blog which i totally forgot.. i can't help but laugh on what i wrote years ago...hahahaha...

OMGeeeeee! i can't believe i actually had THREE (3) blogs before this one... hahahaha

and take note of the names... hahahaha

this is why i'm keeping my blog as long as i can... update it as much as i can... 

and be randomly honest on my posts ...

so that if i look back at my past i will have something to laugh at like tonight.. haha

CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW if you want to check it too www.ceangyrevealed.blogdrive.com

CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO CHECK ON THE ABOVE BLOG
www.naughtybitchyme.blogdrive.com

and here's the link of my other previous blog.. lol
www.ilovethesinglelife.blogspot.com


so this is the OLD me huh?!
i think i'm beginning to miss this..
hmmmmm.....

look at the blog names...
i guess i'm really going to be single til i get old.. hahaha

have fun reading! 

Greetings for Den

Happy Birthday 31st Tutu on the Run!

i didn't know this candle was your first....

well, glad to be the one who paved way to your firsts all in one day..

both painful and sweet...you know what i mean.. haha

have a blast on your birthday Te Den!

don't forget to have fun...

YOLO!!!!

mwaaaaaaaah!

Paraw Sailing in Boracay

Why do i love BORACAY?

Paraw Sailing is a must try when you go to Boracay. 

It's best to do while watching the famous Boracay Sunset.

The wind.. the waves.. Such an amazing experience. 

Truly Thrilling and Exciting...

The word paraw also parao is related to proa and may be used to denote a boat. However, the term for boats (with or without outriggers) in the Philippine islands without sails or layag are typically called vanca or bangka.

The paraw has three major elements that make it a paraw and not another type of boat. These elements are the bangka, the katig and the layag. Motorized versions of bangkas (with outriggers) are commonly known as Pump Boat and are used for inter-island travel.

Paraws are known to sail between 11 to 17 knots (20~31 km/h) or approximate the speed of the wind. The outriggers (ama) or katig, made of wood or more commonly, bamboo, may be straight or curve upward much like skis and provide stability. 

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraw)

BOODLE FIGHT

Boodle fight is a military style of eating where long tables are prepared and food are on top of the banana leaves. Viands and rice ready to eat using your bare hands, jugs of water are prepared on the side to wash hands before the "eating combat". With the signal to start the boodle fight, everyone aims for his/her position. -urban dictionary

Nothing beats a good time with good old friends and family. Our fair share of boodle fight on a Saturday Night. 

Double Post Birthday Celebration of Patty and Bong.

Eating Combat it is! 

 

Who would have thought the plan would push through that day?
I swear i really had fun. Laughtrip! Lol.
 See you soon. New year right???

Greetings for Charlotte

happy birthday te jen!

it has been years but our memories are still so vivid in my mind.

miss you so much. see you and the rest of your fam soon.

luv yah! mwah!

Cooling Down the Gangnam Style

Hello November!

this is how we bond....

this is how we spend time and have fun...

this is what keeps us together...

What is LOVE?

i asked some of my friends earlier today a random question: WHAT IS LOVE? oh yeah.. this may seem like a simple one but trust me, this will definitely make you think a hundred times when thrown at you. so why did i ask such question? some asked me if i am into some deep shit again or did i catch cupid's arrow for the nth time. it's both a yes and a no. i am always in love -- in love with love, in love with falling in love, in love with life. and i won't deny, i  have been a love-believer ever since. that's the reason why i'm stuck at the moment for who knows til when. the question just came to me in an instant. maybe there is a guiding force that wants me to ponder on things and somewhat learn in the process..

so WHAT IS LOVE?

as per wikipedia's definition:

Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".Love may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.

but will this definition be enough? definitely not. i believe one's definition of LOVE varies accordingly. 

for kids - who would ever forget the famous line "GOD is LOVE." ?

during high school days - who did not answer "LOVE is like a bubble gum, kung mupilit makabuang." on a friend's autograph?

for a more mature definition - "LOVE is UNCONDITIONAL" uhmmmm... 

somebody's definition of  love will somewhat show how he has experienced love and to what level of maturity he has gained. cos in the course of getting into a relationship, falling deeply in love, experiencing a breakup, trying to move on and finally reaching the moved on part...one's definition of love will never be the same. 

here are some of the definitions i got today:

"Love knows no reasons. Love knows no lies. Love defies all reasons. Love has no eyes. Love is not blind... it sees, but it doesn't mind. Love doesn't seek what's not there. Love accepts all pains to bear. Love that doesn't die is love we can't see. Love is just waiting for someone even if it turns to an empty sea." - Thayk Ferols

"Love is an unconditional acceptance of another person for everything.. not perfect, bittersweet." - Patty

"Read 1 Corinthians 13... Love is the fulfillment of all things. Love is unconditional... no ifs, no buts, no could-haves nor should-haves. It is giving without expecting something in return. Knowing that it doesn't have to be a two-way stree. It is forgiving and forgetting. It is the fulfillment of all things... Isn't this what life is for? To live is to love?... The most loving person is the happiest. let's spread the love girl." - Lucienne

"Love is patient.Love is kind... Corinthians ;-) ...It does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud... Love is not self-seeking... Always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres." - Ghedi 

 "Love is accepting who the person is. Love is compromising - meeting half-way. Love is not selfish and possessive. 1 Corinthians 13:4" - Kakai Piloto

 "Read 1 Corinthians 13" - Simsimi

"Love should be unconditional. Not selfish. Love is forgiving. Love is trust. Even if you don't say it often to the one you love, you both know it's there just by showing each other that you care." - Jen White

"for me, love is relative. your idea, your definition of it depends on how you feel towards your "current" person. somehow you try to squeeze it in and mold it to fit the current situation. you paint a picture in your head on how the future and forever looks like with that person. love is acceptance. unconditional and limitless. i guess that's how love works." - Rhodora(rhodoramania.blogspot.com)

"Love is unconditional." - Boyet Alvarez 

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Where there is love, there is peace. True love waits." - Joy

"Love makes you think wiser, gives you strength and will guide you to the right path." - Shiela

"Love is a feeling towards another person. Na gusto nimo makauban ug makita siya always, bahala nag di mo magstorya. Basta kauban ra mo." - Lui

"Love is supposed to make people happy. If you are not happy, then it's not love." - Ingrid 

 "Love truly is a commitment. A commitment to care, to nurture, to help bring out the best in that person and to give the best of yourself." - Shelley

"Love is undefineable (if there is such a term), but definitely, it's more of a decision than a feeling." - a friend who changed her name to anonymous lol

"Love is a strong affection." - Anne Relampagos

"Love is a special feeling that even a good scientist can't explain." - Ian Valdez

"Love is an act of giving yourself to someone whole-heartedly. This is both a choice and a risk. You choose to love and you risk being loved or end up with unrequited love. But love does not stop there. Because the act of loving in itself humanifies one and trancends in so many ways." - Edgie Uyanguren

"Love is the 7 years between where i am to where you are. Boris inspired!" - Den(tutuontherun.com)

" Love is unconditional. Because you should accept everything, go through with him without hesitation, though not recklessly but wholeheartedly. Love is when you let go for the one you love." - Sir Anthony 

"Love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell.-anonymous. Love is patient. Love is selfless. Love is a sacrifice." - Jeni 

"Love can inspire you, hurt you or destroy. love can move mountains, cross the entire universe.Ang Gugma Makalipay, Makabu-ang, Maka Payat og di maka kontrol Maka patay!hehehehe." - Cristina Herrera

"Love is not blind only lovers can not see!" - Uncle Dante

"Te, here's the best definition of love, by my standards - “Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.” - Paulo Coelho" - April

"Love for yourself. Love hurts." - Chez 

"Love is a decision. It's not all about feelings. Coz that GREAT feeling will eventually change. In time, sweet things will turn bitter and worse, sweet will turn sour. Once you found love, you decide, you commit - long term.. Nurture it. If you won't, then love will fail and the relationship will fail." - Tutet 

"Love is "that" unconditional feeling. :)" - Chabz 

"You can't define love through words... But only actions..." - JPFlo 

"Love is as love does. Love is an act of will -- namely, both an intention and an action. Will also imply choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love." - Macky

"Love is an extension of one's self." - Kittin

"Love is unconditional. Love is unselfish." - Bong Babiera 

so many definitions from different people from all walks of life.. sharing their own definitions of love from within. there are no right or wrong answers in here for love is truly subjective. what may be true to one may be contradictory to another. it all boils down to how you understand it, be it by experience or not.

and here's my own definition of love:

Love is a gift. It is a gift to be shared not kept. Love is making people smile, making people happy. Love is reminding others to have a positive outlook in life. Love is remembering, remembering memories of laughters and even heartaches. Love is being thankful of the past be it painful or not. Love is letting go and setting free of the person eventhough you are still holding on to the feeling. Love is waiting even for uncertainty. Love is loving on the third degree - no ifs, no buts, no reasons behind, you just love and take the risk. Love is loving yourself. Love is giving yourself to others. Love is Niji. LOVE IS SIMPLE. It is everyone around us... family, friends, pets, loved ones, everyone. It is everything we do for them.. plain and simple..  As i always say, LOVE is spelled as T-I-M-E. 

 before this entry will come to an end, i want to leave you all with this...

"But really sometimes we confine ourselves in the realm of romantic love when a simple giving of bread to the old lady in the footbridge is a grand display of love. the hushing  of a crying child, carrying a baby, smiling to a stranger, answering a friend's "What is Love?"... all these things manifest great love for others... There are many things to be happy about. There are many things to be in love about. Let's live it. Live, Love, Laugh."

-Lucienne

--- Let us all be LOVE-BELIEVERS! ---

Happy Birthday Patty

true friends will withstand miles of distance. it may be too good to be true but UMANGs managed the test of time... and now the family is growing with the presence of the UMANGs +1.. and since it's Patty's birthday, we all gathered together from all over the world to celebrate it with her.

even my pretty baby wanted to greet her tita a happy birthday!

Happy Birthday Suzanne Patricia Manalo-Latorre!

May you have a blast this day.

See you soon!

mwaaaaah!

As Long As You Love Me

we laugh together...

we sing together...

we do funny things together...

and we happily bonded for countless years already..

can't wait for the grand reunion!

this is just one of the videos we made at our second home last year..

i'll be posting the other videos next time..
(unplanned sending away breakfast for rhodora...
wore the singlet the whole day from the run til the airport.. chaka! lol)

As Long As You Love Me

(the UMANGS version)

Birthday Surprise from Stars

turning 30 has never been this exciting!!!

i never had so many flowers...

i never had so many greetings...

i never had so many gifts..

so 

i asked for a flower.. but it rained flowers on my birthday..

i wished that i would be remembered.... 

and greetings flooded my mail, my wall and my phones..

indeed i felt really special and loved...

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Special Thanks to MIAH FERNANDEZ for making this surprise birthday video..

and to Hazel, Kittin, Tita Esther, Trixie, Jacky, Jeni, Rayann, Kalai, and Jo Anne 

for surprising me much! i super duper love you all!

and THANK YOU to all my ARTISTA FRIENDS and my BUBBLE GANG Family... hahaha
oh yes ECHO, i love you... 
and you too, SAM PINTO! lol

(THANK YOU darcy, dada, melai, aldygirl, lui, alnie, angel, rhoda jane, auntie josie and leslie)

(THANK YOU Mama and Papa)

(THANK YOU JpFlo for sending me these from the land down under)

(THANK YOU Mackyboy for the burger treat!)

(THANK YOU te Patty for getting me these lovely froggies fresh from Ilocos)

(THANK YOU te Tutet for this Xmini)

 (THANK YOU te Rhodora for this birthday gift.. can't wait to laag na)

(THANK YOU te Ghedi for making this..missing the old times)

(THANK YOU Cheryl Ramos for this pretty dress and THANK YOU NIJI for the LOVE)

to those who greeted me on facebook, viber, instagram, whatsapp and ymessenger..

to those who sent me birthday text messages...

to those who emailed me and sent me private messages...

you all know who you are...

THANK YOU!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!