Dear ANONYMOUS (Part 2)

Dear ANONYMOUS,


Hello again.i am quite flattered to know that you just came across my blog by accident. i don't have much visitors that i know who take time to check and read on my posts, much more leave comments. so i honestly appreciate your presence here. at least now i have someone to exchange my views with and make this blog interactive in a way.


everybody is entitled to his own views so it is but proper to respect yours. but may i just reiterate that the entry was not to lure somebody back. i don't think i would want somebody back just because of guilt cos that would fall into forcing love my way and honestly that's not what i believe in. besides, there is a slim chance that that somebody will come across my blog cos i suppose he would no longer be interested to check in. he stopped talking, i stopped talking, we stopped talking for some time now.



in a relationship, it's not always hearts and flowers. both happiness and sadness come in handy. and i have learned to accept that. heartaches come with the package. if you read my entry again, i did not mention even a single complaint regarding my or should i say, our situation. cos i did all those things by choice. nobody forced me, he didn't ask me to. they were all done out of love. so i don't think i have the right to slap it all on his face and ask for a refund or whatsoever. they are all results of my decision to give my love the best way i can.


i don't think some people would appreciate what people like me do for love. some may say it is a selfless act, but some will also think it is a selfish display of love. life works that way, we can't please everybody. and we should never forget that one can never fully understand somebody until he climbs under the other person's skin and be him. the fact is, everything is in a case to case basis. you can never judge a thing just because you yourself has experienced it or has seen it happen to someone close to you before. it all depends on the situation, the persons involved and the characteristics they have. some things will work for some and not for others. some will take it easy, some will not. some will choose to leave, some will stay. some will live in hatred, some will love more. some will go on begging for love while some will learn to let go and love in silence. life works that way, different for every person.


i think you were referring to this line when you said you thought i was taking the role of a pitiful victim.
"when he finally asks you to stop,
but you don't and decide to still hang on and hold on to your hope..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE."
i think you got it all mixed up here. i was not talking about someone who didn't stop even if she was asked to and tried cling on to save the relationship. that would not be love on the third degree if we put it that way. i just wanted to point out that love on the third degree means still loving someone even if he already asked you to stop, loving not forcing. that's letting go of the person but hanging on to your love, even from afar. it is honestly clear to me that one can never make another person love her if that person really won't. and love on the third degree understands that even more. i would like to believe that's not selling myself short. so i would like to know how you define it then.


different people see things differently in different angles. your views and my views maybe different but i'm sure we both have our own reasons for thinking so. and that goes to your friend too. she may not see what you are seeing but please do not forget that it works for her too. letting go and moving on are two different things. the first would be easier to learn than the second. so one will have to learn to let go of the person first before anything else. the amount of pain will depend on how much care one has towards the other. if it hurts much cos one has loved much then let it bleed. one should never attempt to kill it cos trust me, it would only be painful to the core. besides, i believe love will heal all wounds not time. it would be a struggle and sometimes, it is absolutely painful to watch. believe me, the pain that the other persons see is not even half as the pain felt by the person struggling. some are just lucky enough to display a much stronger personality. smiling though in pain so as not to affect the people around. what we feel is quite contagious so sometimes one will choose to deal with things alone and instead leave things between the parties involved. 


thank you for dropping by and i hope to hear from you again.


xxx,


bLack aNgeL

Dear Anonymous

i got a surprising email notification today. and honestly, i am quite bothered by this certain comment on my LOVE on THE THIRD DEGREE blog entry. i suppose there is a need for a detailed response regarding this matter. so here goes.....

Dear ANONYMOUS,

i would like to thank you for taking some of your time to pay my blog a visit. since you have not made yourself known, i guess i would have to settle with me calling you ANONYMOUS then. i am not sure if we both know each other personally, but i would like to think that you don't know the whole story behind this and that you are just basing your comment on the entry itself.

first and for all, the entry was written not to make a specific person guilty, much more to regain a lost love. but it was merely written to express a blogger's suppressed emotions regarding her current situation. yes, i must agree that there is a thin line between being selfless and being selfish. but may i just remind you that one will never know who is who unless he knows well the persons involved and has gotten the whole truth about the story.

honestly when i wrote that entry, the guilt thing never really crossed my mind. i swear i had no idea on what you were trying to point out. it was only after reading your comment that i took time to read my entry again and examine it. but this time, not as the writer but as a reader. my apologies if i sounded like a pitiful victim to you. eventhough i still can't fathom why. i never meant it that way. it was just an entry written to show what unconditional love can do and how far it can go, that's from loving too much and letting somebody go. and if i may recall, i never posted any complaints on the said entry. so where did the playing the role of a pitiful victim come from? that, i would like to know.

yes, there is still hope. but it's hope from a grieving heart, struggling to find answers. it is definitely NOT hope to bring about guilt or anything else just to have somebody back into a relationship. it has just been a month. and seven years is seven years and it's not that easy to forget especially when you have made it your life since day one. sometimes, hope is the only thing you can cling on when everything seems to be going the other way. sometimes hope can be your only comfort when you have finally accepted that dreadful goodbye. it is hope for things to be good in time, definitely not hope for guilt, not hope for a forced love.

i am dealing with these things the best way i can. trust me, for somebody like me, it's not that easy. and LOVE on the THIRD DEGREE was written from the heart. it was a burst of emotions. it is the TRUTH!


Thank you and i hope to hear from you soon.

     

xxx,

bLack aNgeL

LOVE on the THIRD DEGREE

have you been in love? oh yeah surely, like everybody else.
have you been hurt? yeah surely, it's part of the package.
but have you loved somebody on the third degree? well, maybe.

i took out my notebook earlier to supposedly take some notes.
i swear i tried to listen but my mind kept on wandering from time to time.
and at the end of the day, i wrote nothing but a single line that goes:
LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.  -07.21.2012

oh crap! that must say it all.
guess my heart finally found a way to say it.

so what does it mean then?

well,

when at the start of a relationship, you clearly know that you are heading nowhere..
but you still opted to continue and take the risk,
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

when you think distance doesn't matter in a relationship,
and you try to ignore thoughts on what's happening on the other side while you are away..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

when the man you love is not that easy to love,
but you took the risk and still managed to sway with the relationship for years..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

when you know you have high regards with your pride,
but unknowingly give it up for someone..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

when you feel hurt over and over again for petty or big reasons,
but you still care and show even more love..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

when you have a long list of relationship and trust issues,
but disregard everything because your love is far greater than them..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

when he finally asks you to stop,
but you don't and decide to still hang on and hold on to your hope..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

when everybody around you tells you to leave cos it's all not worth it,
but you still cling to whatever you are feeling cos it makes you happy,
and you even come to his defense and leave everything between you and him..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

when you are given all the possible reasons to hate him,
all the things he has done, the mistakes and the absence,
all have been laid down to you..
but still you don't feel hatred towards him that's why you can't move on..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

giving up something you really don't want to give up
because somebody already gave up
and you want that somebody to be happy even at your expense..
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

and after everything, you decide to give him what he wants and let him be happy,
but still you silently and patiently wait and sing to yourself  "I WON'T GIVE UP ON US!"
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

Oh yes! waiting endlessly for something that you are not sure if you'll still have in the end,
that's LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.

yes it's giving everything.
it's like burning yourself to the core until you feel nothing.
no pain, no heartbreaks, just numbness, just love.
you just love.. you just love unconditionally.
no ifs, no buts, you just love.
people say when you love, leave something for yourself.
never give your 100% in a relationship.
but the fact is,
u will never really know how much you have given until everything comes to an end.
you will not even realize you stopped doing the things you love to do,
and lose weight even without doing anything
cos you were busy enough catering to your bleeding love.
you will not realize it cos when you love, you just give and give and never do any counting.
you will not even realize you have given all not until you have nothing more to give..
as i always say,
the pain and heartbreak you'll feel definitely depends on your emotional investment.
cos in a relationship, the TRUTH is:
ONE WILL LOVE LESS, AND THE OTHER WILL LOVE MORE.
so lucky are those who love less for they can easily take another course.

LOVE ON THE THIRD DEGREE.