When Home Is NOT Home

when EVERYTHING is TOO MUCH....
 ALL i want to do is SCREAM and DISAPPEAR...
:-(

One Wednesday Night

November 21, 2012

Abreeza Mall

i met up with Mi Amegas (my friends in my nursing class) on a wednesday night. as usual i was the last person to arrive given my super duper far place. i had to go back home after work to get D3 (my ever reliable camera) and at the same time change. 

L-R: angel, angie, dada, melai, darcy, aldy and me

it has been months since i saw these pretty ladies again. though we constantly send each other messages, it's still different from bonding physically. plus angie is literally miles away too. we are all busy doing our own stuff, but we still see to it that we bond and see each other every now and then. 

angie and kaykay (her daughter) had to leave us early due to a prior commitment. but before they left she handed me over two things from the land down under; one from her and one from jay (her hubby).

thank you JAY for this cute australian glass map paper weight

thank you ANGIE for this Perth ref magnet. it's actually on our ref now. lol

spending some quality time with the people who you consider as friends is really priceless. it doesn't matter if the meeting's just for a few minutes, a few hours or the whole day. but it's the act of retying the knot of friendship which matters the most.

gelo is getting big now. and we are getting older too. haha. i just couldn't help but laugh when darcy said gelo doesn't want to go to school when it's raining and says " ayokong magskul. sabi man ni tita ceara wala daw klase kase basa ang blackboard" (i don't want to go to school. tita ceara said we don't have  classes cos the blackboard is wet)  . they still have to convince him much just to dress up and go to his classes. hahahahaha... oh gosh silly me! after hearing that, i talked to gelo and said "magpasok ka na sa skul kahit nagaulan ha. nagtalk na kami ni teacher. bumili na siya sa akin ng magic chalk para makawrite pa din sya sa blackboard kahit basa." (you go to school even though it's raining. i already talked to your teacher and she bought a magic chalk from me which writes even when the blackboard is wet.). hahaha.. you just have to lie sometimes. lol. i just realized, i really have some special powers when it comes to kids. i can convince them easily.  guess we are on the same wavelength. hahaha

Gelo Gelo Gelo Dear

after our reminiscing the past dinner, dada and angel had to leave us. so that leaves aldy, darcy, melai, gelo and me for a little bonding extension.

comfort rooms are called as such for a reason. lol

after our chitchat and picture taking underneath the mall's christmas tree, we decided to try the XRider Roller Coaster Ride. we were laughing all the time. i was actually laughing at aldygirl's reactions who as at the middle.. laughtrip, i should say. it was not because of the ride, but it was because of aldy hahaha.

 

such an unforgettable experience. super laughtrip. 

i really had fun from dinner til the end.see you all in december Mi Amegas! mwaaaaaaah!

BLOGDRIVE: The Old School Blogspot

i was googling my name a few minutes ago trying to check on how they will show my profile.. i came across my previous blog which i totally forgot.. i can't help but laugh on what i wrote years ago...hahahaha...

OMGeeeeee! i can't believe i actually had THREE (3) blogs before this one... hahahaha

and take note of the names... hahahaha

this is why i'm keeping my blog as long as i can... update it as much as i can... 

and be randomly honest on my posts ...

so that if i look back at my past i will have something to laugh at like tonight.. haha

CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW if you want to check it too www.ceangyrevealed.blogdrive.com

CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO CHECK ON THE ABOVE BLOG
www.naughtybitchyme.blogdrive.com

and here's the link of my other previous blog.. lol
www.ilovethesinglelife.blogspot.com


so this is the OLD me huh?!
i think i'm beginning to miss this..
hmmmmm.....

look at the blog names...
i guess i'm really going to be single til i get old.. hahaha

have fun reading! 

Six Degrees of Separation

it's never easy going through a breakup. you go through a drastic change, something inevitable. i am really not sure if james ingram was honest enough to say that there's no easy way to break somebody's heart. but i'll give him the benefit of the doubt just to make things quite equal and justify the other side. so who suffers more, the one who was left behind or the one who has left the other? it's a case to case basis, i know. but   whatever the reason for the breakup, whether you wanted it or not, it can turn your world upside down. 

on the 8th day of July this year, my friend Den sent me a message saying i should check her blog entry on 8 Things You Should Stop Doing After A Breakup . she said we were both guilty. yes i agreed.

but during the course of our conversation, i ended up contradicting instead and eventually defended my actions. 

we actually do things just to  feel okay and just simply take our minds away from reality. but the sad truth is, at the end of the day it is still there and it won't go. no one really knows what's the best thing to do. there are definitely no shortcuts, no step-by-step instructions to follow. no i won't give tips on how to move on. i am not in the right position to do that. i believe advices are only given by experts, not by mere individuals who just have the feeling of know-how. besides, i'm still coping up with whatever that is left of me.

THE SCRIPT  said in one of their songs that... 

YOU'RE DOING ALL THESE THINGS OUT OF DESPERATION.

• reading books
• watching shows
• meditating and even hypnotizing anything to take it off your mind
• hit the drinking, take the toll, watch the past go up in smoke
• fake a smile
• lie and say you're better now than ever and your life's okay when it's not
• you tell your friends, strangers too, anyone who'll throw an arm around you
• tarot cards, gems and stones, believing all this shit's gonna heal your soul

YOU'RE GOING THROUGH SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

oh well, the band was right with all those things. i have my own share of desperate moves just to take my mind off things. i go out alone and do some binge eating for comfort, have a bottle or two just to put some numbness within, go to classes just to distract my mind so as not to think much, try new things that will make me feel good about myself. but of all things, my fave thing to do is travelling alone when my heart gets broken, that's for me to think things over while carrying the hope of finding myself. i go to places far from home. it kinda gives me a sense of comfort being away from the usual. it actually feels liberating to know that i can do things on my own. it's having the initiative to decide for myself and do whatever i want. 

there is no exact time frame for you to heal. healing takes time. you just have to be patient. there must me an internal clock within. only you will know when that time comes. only you will know when you are ready. only you will know when is the best time that you can.

Kubler-Ross described five stages of grief  that are just as relevant to the normal range of feelings people have when they are dealing with change.

1. DENIAL. this is what initially happens. normally, if you are the one who got dumped, you begin to pretend that it's not happening. and that if you try to ignore it, maybe it will go away and thing will be normal again. you begin to convince yourself that there is no truth to the breakup.
2. ANGER. when you realize that things are actually happening, denial eventually turns to anger. you now then try to find someone else to blame for the misfortune. you now try to make a monster out of the person who broke your heart. it's normal. sometimes, you will even make a big deal with the slightest mistake he made.
3. BARGAINING. it is an attempt to postpone the inevitable. it's trying to find ways on how to get out of the situation.you now begin to make secret deals with God. i will do this.. i will do that.. just give him back.. 
4. DEPRESSION. eventually, you will realize that bargaining will not stop what is actually happening. now the feeling of worthlessness sets in. you don't want other people to know that your relationship finally ended and that you are afraid of what people would think or say. at this point you are aware of the losses that the split up brings. then you feel sad and depressed. you now begin to question your self-worth, giving justifications of why the person dumped you. well good memories hurt more than the bad ones, that's a fact.
5. ACCEPTANCE. when you finally realize that things have really come to an end, acceptance sets in. here you begin to consider options. you begin to accept that things have changed and that you just have to live with it. you begin to accept that things will never be the same again and that it's time to make a brand new start.

When Kubler-Ross wrote about these stages she was very careful to explain that these are normal reactions we have to tragic news. In fact she called them defense mechanisms or coping mechanisms. And this is exactly what they are when we apply the model to coping with change. 

We don't move through the stages one at a time, in a neat, linear, step by step manner. That would be far too easy! What happens is that we occupy different stages at different times and can even move back to stages we have been in before. Kubler-Ross said the stages can last for different periods of time and will replace each other or exist at times side by side.

-http://www.change-management-coach.com

i was never at the anger stage. honestly, i sometimes feel bad for praying for anger to set in. i want to pass this stage cause i know moving on will be a lot easier if that happens. there's no perfect way to do it, i know. cause we all have different views on things. it actually makes me sad when people begin to tell me that i should let go and forget or ask me what's taking me so long to move on. i just don't get it when they say it as if it is that easy. it is somewhat sending me some power pressure to do something that i myself is unsure that i'm ready to do. it's not about how long it will take right? but it's what this journey will make out of me in the future. the important thing is, i'm learning and that i'm trying to take things the best mature way i can think of. there is a right time and place for everything. and i know for a fact that only a few people would understand where i'm coming from. i don't expect everybody else to understand me though. things have changed and things will never be the same after this. but for now i want something in mind to happen, a formal farewell. if it's really meant to end, then i just wish for a decent ending. it may not be necessary for others to think but i would think it would work for me. i don't have the hold of the future. but if it's destiny that writes and directs the entire show, i would gladly wait for my scene to come, memorize my script and deliver it well. 

oh no there's no starting over

without finding closure

you take them back 

no hesitation

that's when you know you've reached

the sixth degree of separation

Live, so you do not have to look back and say: 'God, how I have wasted my life'. 

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.(1926-2004)

Lost Flower : Search for the Missing Color

now i'm thinking,

he could have been mine.

i could have been her.

it was only a matter of time.

one of my favorite photos he sent me years ago

i met someone years ago. i met him on an online pool game. we had our own share of conversations. we chatted even without playing. we exchanged snail mails and photographs back then. there was a connection between us, i suppose. but it was distance that was against us. i had my life, he had his own. sadly, it was me who took the first step back. i stopped communicating. i guess it was because somebody else came. he found another love. i fell deeply for another. years has passed and i never heard from him. but months ago, time brought us together again. he was finally free, i was somewhat not. we talked like strangers again, trying to rebuild a lost friendship. i liked him even before. but i was too preoccupied with somebody else. so i gave him the hint of a NO. i remember him saying that it was too bad cos he's saving up to come over. sigh. and it ended everything again. time was definitely against us. he's free and i'm not. i'm free and he's not. i guess it's just not meant to be. now i can see how happy he is. one guy who once said he was not yet ready to marry, has finally tied the knot  last september, i think after year of his new relationship.i'm looking at their photos now and i can say he's really happy. i am happy for him. indeed, she's one lucky girl. 

Dear friend, 

this song will forever remind me of you.
it still gives me jitters every now and then though.
oh yes, this has been your song every since.

i'm still searching for the photo of a flower you took while visiting arizona.
 you wrote: "this was the only color i could find in the desert."
now i'm thinking, would i ever see that color again? i just hope so.
you and me is just plain you and me in reality.
i can't help but wonder what could have been.
but still i must thank you.
you are surely one of my FOREVER NEVERs.

xxx,

ceangy

Waiting: Fighting Against Time

“The wait is long, my dream of you does not end.” 

― Nuala O'Faolain, My Dream of You

waiting for you is like cursing the time.

it is going beyond what is immeasurable,

as what they say irrational.

sometimes i wish time would stand still...

for every second that comes brings me closer to infinity.

it's hard to be left behind... it's hard to be the one who stays. -The Time Traveller's Wife

what if i tell you i'm finally tired of waiting,

will you come back to me rushing?

what if i tell you i have my whole lifetime to wait,

will it take you take forever?

“I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, 

knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.” 

― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

how many lamps should be lit to help you see the path?
how many minutes will it take you to find your way?

how many leaves will the trees shed to welcome the coldness of winter?
how will i ever find you in this darkness?


“I don't care how wonderful heaven is, I won't be content waiting thirty years for you.” 
― Jason F. Wright, The Wednesday Letters

it's not just about emotions.
pain would have killed me a hundred times if it was.
 it's all about making a choice.
it's all about having a decision.


"She doesn't know what's right. She doesn't know what's wrong. 
She only knows the pain that comes from waiting for him so long. 
And she doesn't count the teardrops that she's cried while he's away, 
because she knows deep in her heart, he'll be back someday."
 - Eagles, "The Girl from Yesterday"

stop. come back. and kiss me.

----o----

two, three, four years?
nobody holds the future.
maybe tomorrow, or the day after that.
or just maybe forever.
but for now i do not know.
in time. yes!
you will know.
i will let you know.

Gino's Burger: A Must Try

i finally had my first taste of Gino's Boom Burgers...

my charcoal-grilled dinner on a saturday night.

it's a good thing that Mamma Maria's Pizzeria near Sychar Hotel now serves Gino's Burgers.

it's much accessible and comfortable as compared to the main branch which also closes really early.

  

here's my first ever charcoal-grilled Gino's Burger...

100% Pure Beef Burger Patty stuffed with  Bacon, Mushroom and Cheese

indeed, it is what they say it is.. Deliciously Juicy!

if you are into burgers and has that male appetite but wants something budget-friendly,

Gino's Burger is a MUST TRY.

indeed, it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

How to get to Gino’s Burgers:

Yu Uy Tong Building

Lapu-lapu St. near cor. Sobrecary St.

Agdao, Davao City

Tel. No. (082) 2262659

Mamma Maria's Pizzeria

Address: Sychar Hotel Building Iñigo Street, Davao City

Tel. No.: 082 221 4411

you only live once!

Greetings for Den

Happy Birthday 31st Tutu on the Run!

i didn't know this candle was your first....

well, glad to be the one who paved way to your firsts all in one day..

both painful and sweet...you know what i mean.. haha

have a blast on your birthday Te Den!

don't forget to have fun...

YOLO!!!!

mwaaaaaaaah!

Bare It All

in my eagerness to introduce B-waxing to one of my barkadas, i paid my waxing salon a visit again. i wanted her to experience something new and not so ordinary before she turns a year older in a few days. she was i should say, hesitant but eventually i managed to finally convince her.

having a brazilian wax for the first time is a bit scary. it's just normal to be apprehensive when you don't know what will happen during the whole procedure. truth is, waxing hurts. i had my fair share of the pain too but it was tolerable. and i have to thank my very high threshold to pain for that. 

when you decide to go bare down there, you really have to be physically and emotionally ready. the first session is usually the most painful one. but trust me, it's going to be fine the next time. that's if you decide to go back the next time. lol.

so what is BRAZILIAN WAXING?

Brazilian waxing is the removal of all hair in the pelvic area, front and back, while sometimes leaving a thin strip of hair on the pubis.[2](p139)[7][8][9][10] It can be used by those who wear thong bikinis.[11] It is a form of bikini waxing, and involves the complete removal of hair from the buttocks and adjacent to the anus, perineum and vulva (labia majora and mons pubis).[12][13] If a thin vertical strip of hair is left, it may be called a landing strip. Brazilian waxing is also known as a full Brazilian wax, full Bikini wax, Hollywood wax or the Sphinx.[2](p139)[8][9] The Sphinx variety involves the complete removal of all hair in the pelvic region. The name is derived from that of a naked breed of cat from Canada. The smooth-skinned, hairless Sphynx cat was a genetic oddity discovered in Toronto in 1966. Some salons refer to the Sphynx as the Hollywood.

Brazilian Wax Style Guide/Menu from www.wheninmanila.com

here are some of the the things "waxing virgins" should remember before going bare down there.

• prepare yourself. as i have said, waxing hurts.and you have to get yourself ready for that. there's always a first time.
• let your hair grow. hair should be at least 1/4 of an inch to give ease to waxing.
• no period please. for obvious reasons, one should not go for a wax when the red flag is up. experts say that one should avoid doing it three days prior to and following your period because it is when your hormone level changes which make you more sensitive to pain.
• kill the pain. you can take ibuprofen, paracetamol or mefanamic acid at least 30 minutes prior to your appointment to lessen the pain.
• keep clean. wash up before the procedure to avoid infection. it is also advised to lightly exfoliate days before so as to keep the skin healthy and ingrown hair.
• choose a trusted waxing salon. do some research if you don't have some friends to back you up. better be sure than sorry.

http://www.waxing1.com/after-your-appointment.html

there have been arguments on whether having a brazilian wax is safe or not. fact is, pubic hair is there basically for protection and getting a wax literally strips away that layer. waxing creates inflammation which can possibly cause infection. that's why you have to be extra careful in choosing the facility and be extra vigilant on keeping an eye on hygiene. again, do some research. go for the trusted ones.

i want my friends and everybody else to try it. it's a different experience but i should say it's worth a try. it's not that complicated and scary. (well, at least it's not to me.lol) besides, i believe that it's all in the mind. some people will like it, some people will not. that's just how it goes. 

you only live once. 

so why not try something different..

something scary.. something adventurous?

if you think the experience is not for you, then don't do it again.

but at least try it once.. 

that way, you will take pride of doing something you didn't imagine yourself doing..

adventure begins outside your comfort zone. so go out and bare it all!

Paraw Sailing in Boracay

Why do i love BORACAY?

Paraw Sailing is a must try when you go to Boracay. 

It's best to do while watching the famous Boracay Sunset.

The wind.. the waves.. Such an amazing experience. 

Truly Thrilling and Exciting...

The word paraw also parao is related to proa and may be used to denote a boat. However, the term for boats (with or without outriggers) in the Philippine islands without sails or layag are typically called vanca or bangka.

The paraw has three major elements that make it a paraw and not another type of boat. These elements are the bangka, the katig and the layag. Motorized versions of bangkas (with outriggers) are commonly known as Pump Boat and are used for inter-island travel.

Paraws are known to sail between 11 to 17 knots (20~31 km/h) or approximate the speed of the wind. The outriggers (ama) or katig, made of wood or more commonly, bamboo, may be straight or curve upward much like skis and provide stability. 

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraw)

BOODLE FIGHT

Boodle fight is a military style of eating where long tables are prepared and food are on top of the banana leaves. Viands and rice ready to eat using your bare hands, jugs of water are prepared on the side to wash hands before the "eating combat". With the signal to start the boodle fight, everyone aims for his/her position. -urban dictionary

Nothing beats a good time with good old friends and family. Our fair share of boodle fight on a Saturday Night. 

Double Post Birthday Celebration of Patty and Bong.

Eating Combat it is! 

 

Who would have thought the plan would push through that day?
I swear i really had fun. Laughtrip! Lol.
 See you soon. New year right???