i got a surprising email notification today. and honestly, i am quite bothered by this certain comment on my LOVE on THE THIRD DEGREE blog entry. i suppose there is a need for a detailed response regarding this matter. so here goes.....
Dear ANONYMOUS,
i would like to thank you for taking some of your time to pay my blog a visit. since you have not made yourself known, i guess i would have to settle with me calling you ANONYMOUS then. i am not sure if we both know each other personally, but i would like to think that you don't know the whole story behind this and that you are just basing your comment on the entry itself.
i would like to thank you for taking some of your time to pay my blog a visit. since you have not made yourself known, i guess i would have to settle with me calling you ANONYMOUS then. i am not sure if we both know each other personally, but i would like to think that you don't know the whole story behind this and that you are just basing your comment on the entry itself.
first and for all, the entry was written not to make a specific person guilty, much more to regain a lost love. but it was merely written to express a blogger's suppressed emotions regarding her current situation. yes, i must agree that there is a thin line between being selfless and being selfish. but may i just remind you that one will never know who is who unless he knows well the persons involved and has gotten the whole truth about the story.
honestly when i wrote that entry, the guilt thing never really crossed my mind. i swear i had no idea on what you were trying to point out. it was only after reading your comment that i took time to read my entry again and examine it. but this time, not as the writer but as a reader. my apologies if i sounded like a pitiful victim to you. eventhough i still can't fathom why. i never meant it that way. it was just an entry written to show what unconditional love can do and how far it can go, that's from loving too much and letting somebody go. and if i may recall, i never posted any complaints on the said entry. so where did the playing the role of a pitiful victim come from? that, i would like to know.
yes, there is still hope. but it's hope from a grieving heart, struggling to find answers. it is definitely NOT hope to bring about guilt or anything else just to have somebody back into a relationship. it has just been a month. and seven years is seven years and it's not that easy to forget especially when you have made it your life since day one. sometimes, hope is the only thing you can cling on when everything seems to be going the other way. sometimes hope can be your only comfort when you have finally accepted that dreadful goodbye. it is hope for things to be good in time, definitely not hope for guilt, not hope for a forced love.
i am dealing with these things the best way i can. trust me, for somebody like me, it's not that easy. and LOVE on the THIRD DEGREE was written from the heart. it was a burst of emotions. it is the TRUTH!
Thank you and i hope to hear from you soon.
Thank you and i hope to hear from you soon.
xxx,
bLack aNgeL
1 comment:
Hello again. I'm sorry if my comment bothered you. I'm quite sure you don't know me personally because I only came across your blog entry by accident. I was merely giving an analysis because honestly, I find your sentiments quite familiar. I already heard it from a close friend of mine before. But in your case, your resilience is quite uncommon. And so I couldn't help but comment. A friend of mine went through a somewhat similar ordeal. It became too painful to watch. I told her people who display passive aggression do behave like how she did (and like what you wrote in your entry) without realizing that behind all those passive behavior is a silent intention to make things go your way because accepting the finality of the situation is too unbearable. So they usually delay the inevitable by still holding on even if the other person already went on to live a whole new different life without them. Subconsciously, as what a Freudian thinker would surmise, some people would assume the role of the victim because it may invoke guilt from the other person involved. Guilt is a powerful tool to bring about atonement for the wrong things done. And human beings are always purpose-driven. It's in our nature. Sometimes we are not aware of our behavior's purpose. But we definitely know what we want. From what I gathered from your entry, you painted yourself as the victim, which I'm sure you are because you seem to be the only one who's letting everything slide. All the clues that would surely lead anyone to think that he's not at all serious about keeping you...down to the point where you said he told you to stop but you still went on and tried to make it work anyway, just goes to show that your intention to make him stay is greater than keeping your self worth. That's the reason why I got the impression that you simply want to take on the role of the victim. Sorry for my use of the word pitiful. I guess that was out of line because I'm in no position to judge your situation. It's just that, like what my friend went through, I can imagine yours is just as painful to watch. Your friends are right. Leave. And learn to love yourself again. And maybe soon, you'll find someone else more worthy of your love. Don't sell yourself short, sister. Again, I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. I was just sharing my opinion. I know I could be wrong. But I'm just looking at your situation from another angle. And I'm sure you also have friends who see it the way I do. For sure, they mean well just like I did for my friend.
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