ONE WAY JESUS

first heard this song during my 2nd SFC session last friday. super nice! good thing they have it on youtube.. yay! i so love the lyrics and the beat... so excited to share it..

TWO FIRSTS on May 10, 2010. Monday..

such an exciting day. had my first cord care experience ever. saw everything from labor to delivery. now i know how hard it is to be a mom. LUV YOU MAMA.

ROCK ON BABY GIRL. ROCK ON MOMMY.

(thanks to her mommy for letting me take her picture)

had my first electronic voting experience. got there at 4:30pm.. finished everything at 9:05pm.. literally fell asleep while waiting.. but i don't really mind.. guess that's the best thing i can do, patiently wait.. it's just a little sacrifice anyways..

PICTURE! PICTURE!

heard this song from a friend's FB wall .. COOL..

PICTURE! PICTURE!

love thy self ayt?! LOL

ZIPPED

i am zipping my mouth.

i am disappointed.

i just realized i have said too much.

my story, my own business.

but everybody's updated.

my fault. blame accepted.

i can't please everybody, that's a fact.

don't want to make any further damage.

i'm finally shutting my mouth.

only God knows 'til when.

wish me luck on this!

Love this Pain

it's just an on again and off again situation It's a striking match a tank of gas combination But here i am again lighting it up knowing that he'll just burn me It's like i love this pain a little too much Love my heart all busted up Something bout him we just dont work but i can't walk away It's like i love this pain It's like i love this life when nothing's right yeah something's wrong It's like i'm just not me if i can't be a sad, sad song

RICAFI: Rainbow Intervention Center for Autism

I can't possibly go on outreach programs like Angelina Jolie. How i wish i can. I can't possibly go to places and help others with the limited resources i have. I don't have the money, i don't have the means. My willingness is not enough and that's a fact. It has been my life-long dream to somewhat touch other people's lives and make even a little change in this big world. And now, i think my little act of letting other people know about how they can help others can be a good start.

RICAFI. Rainbow Intervention Center for Autism Foundation, Inc.

132 Fatima St. Jacinto, Davao City

As the name implies, RICAFI is a place for special children. The school aims to give hope to children with autism and to their parents, hence, the name RAINBOW. It is owned and operated by parents with autistic children and offers individualized programs.

VISION: Children with autism are able to achieve a level of independence and self-reliance so they can become productive and socially accepted members of the society and community.

MISSION: Appropriate and affordable education and behavioral programs and services for children with autism and their families in Davao City.

Spending time with these kids is definitely a life-changing experience for me. I realized how noble and fulfilling a teacher's life is. I actually envy RICAFI's teachers who display lots of patience and pure motherly-love towards these special kids just to enable them to achieve their full potential. I salute all those parents who have not given up on loving, caring and supporting their kids. I know it is not easy and it takes a lot of courage to go on and be with their kids in this life-long journey. Every day is a new challenge. Every single day gives hope. And there's no reason to ever give up.

We can all help these special kids in our own little ways. These children need our support. Feel free contact the school for inquiries at TEL. NO.: (082) 305-4265 ; (63)9193274952.

FOOD, CHOCOs and DRINKS

May 5, 2010.. Wednesday

Everything came as a surprise.. Everything happened in an instant.. NO EXPLANATIONS.

PIZZA HUT. SM. carbonara. vege salad. pizza. iced tea. some good friends. YUM!

the picture that made a number of comments, reactions and questions.. NO DETAILS.NO ISSUES.

went out to watch IRON MAN 2.. went home to get some things.. went out again for some drinks with a couple of friends.. didn't go for strong ice but had 3 bottles of GPS instead.. sometimes, it's good to be drunk and forget about a lot of things when you wake up.. ;-)

L-R: my GPS 5.5 ; my breakfast 5.6 ; my lunch 5.7 and my GPS 5.8

Some NEW things for me

credits to Dada and GEC

NEED YOU NOW

May 4, 2010.. Tuesday

My song for the day: NEED YOU NOW by Lady Antebellum (hope you can listen to this)

Reachin' for the phone cause i can't fight it anymore And i wonder if i ever cross your mind For me it happens all the time It's a quarter after one, and i'm all alone and i need you now Said i wouldn't call but i lost all control and i need you now And i don't know how i can do without I just need you now

Still no nothing. Still hoping but i'm not forcing anything. Come what may.

Had my first day of exposure at RAINBOW INTERVENTION CENTER for AUTISM today. I just realized how noble a teacher's job is. Especially those teaching special kiddos. So hard but so fulfilling. Now i'm thinking of my other childhood dream of being a pre-school teacher. lol. i just so love kids, everybody can attest to that. how does it really feel to be called Teach Ceangy ?oh crap! am i thinking of a SECOND carreer change? LOL!

Passed by the mall with icholle before going to Adith's house. I got really amazed with all the exhibited collections from XMEN to GUNDAM to PLANES to just whatever.

I just can't get enough of wolverine. LOGAN! oh LOGAN! i just so love him!

i sooo miss the ORIGINAL XMEN... those were the days... how many years have passed actually? damn! i'm really getting older....

got pretty amazed with these little babies too.. aren't they lovely?

I really need another cam now.. it's not that i'm setting aside my dear old cam.. oh no NEVER! my dear old digi had been my constant companion ever since.. an addition wouldn't hurt ayt?.. i really really pray i could have my own DSLR this year. hoping and praying.. *birthday wish.wink*

AGAIN! yes AGAIN!

MAY 02, 2010.. SUNDAY

Let's do it one more time.. Let's have a crabby buffet again.. i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing, so why not give in to this worldly pleasure?... LOL

****BREAKEVEN by THE SCRIPT****

headed to GLAMOUR with icholle again but this time it wasn't for free..any other sponsors there?..lol

ate a lot really.. had pusit( one of my faves), fried chicken wings, beef steak, rice, soup, cheese sticks, mango float, leche flan and LOTS of CRABS... we sat near the buffet table so it was much easier for us to get whatever food we want..

can you eat this much crabbies????? if yes, then let's go get CRABBY again for the Nth time.. LOL...

can i have some additional requests for my birthday too?

• some grilled pusit,
• stuffed pusit (pusit with ground pork and green peas ) just like what my papa used to cook for me way back in high school..yum..yum... miss my mama & papa so much na
• more prawns. super big ones.
• lobsters
• sinugbang panga

too much requests right?lol. but when can i possibly have my great seafood birthday party which i definitely included on my wishlist???

CALLING all SPONSORS *wink*

i'm the woman who can't be moved

i know it makes no sense but what else can i do

how can i move on when i'm still in love with you

'cause if one day you'll wake up and find that you're missing me

and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i could be

thinking maybe you'll come back to the place that we'd meet

and you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

so i'm not moving, i'm not moving

DEVIRGINIZED

just gave away my hair's virginity today..

had hair gloss treatment with free haircut.

yay!

SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT YOU

DAY 1 - April 30, 2010, FRIDAY

Confused. Trying. Hurting. Hurting much. Thinking with a blank mind. I just want to sleep. Deep sleep and wake up numb about everything. Feels like i have fallen into an abyss, an unfathomed depth that i cannot find my way back.

DAY 2 - May 1, 2010, SATURDAY

Confused. Struggling. Unhappy. Heard a song last night. Searched for the lyrics. It's just so perfect.

Ronna Reeves - Mind Over Matters Of The Heart lyrics LyricsMode.com

DAY 3 - May 2, 2010, SUNDAY

found 2 new songs from the script. BREAKEVEN and THE MAN WHO CAN't BE MOVED. kept thinking 'til when can i possibly hold on. feels like crashing again. i have a feeling that i'm going to fail on this again.

'i know it makes no sense. what else can i do? how can i move on when i'm still in love with you?'

DAY 4 - May 3, 2010, MONDAY

spent the whole day home alone. still alive but barely breathing.

DAY 5 - May 4, 2010, TUESDAY

badly missing.. it's a quarter after one, and i'm all alone and i need you now. 2 more days. would this really reach 7 days? or more? sigh.

DAY 6 - May 5, 2010, WEDNESDAY

FAILED.

DAY 7 - May 6, 2010, THURSDAY

FAILED AGAIN.

i won't say anything

APRIL 29, 2010..Thursday...

Woke up really early today.. I guess i'm having a bad hair day again... i just realized that my mind stopped working.. it's like what the hell am i doing with my life? am i not thinking? or am i thinking too much that i could not even distinguish an answer from a question? WHERE IS MY FUCKIN' MIND?????

I am gullible.. my good old friend just slapped it out into my face... adj. gullible - naive and easily decieved or tricked.. he asked me if i know someone like that.. and as per definition, i said YES.. with no doubt, ME!.. easily tricked because of being too trusting.. always believe that things can ONLY get better.. so not fuckin' true but i keep on sticking it into my mind... what a crap!

APRIL 29, 2010... supposedly turning 5 today.. i have this fuckin' sickness of holding on into something worth throwing away... it ended months ago...no doubt about that.. so why do i still keep on counting? i dunno... maybe because i have something planned and i still haven't done yet.. i really don't know.. i need to keep my mind working again... my heart's too overworked.. maybe it should stop beating for awhile...

STOP. But when do i stop eating my words??? goodbye should be goodbye ayt? but it's not always the case for me.. it aint over 'til it's over, so i say... but when do i say it's really over? .. everybody says i should stop, it's such a unanimous decision.. but i'm listening with deaf ears.. it's not that i don't see what they all see but it's as if i don't really mind it...but are they seeing what i see? absolutely not..or maybe i'm just creating a world of illusion that things are going to be better soon, that things would go accordingly..

Now i'm back to saying goodbye again..for the Nth time.. When do i possibly stop saying goodbye and ending up saying hello again???? Life isn't fair, so they say.. but is life really unfair? NO.. i don't think it is. Cos if we really think that it is, then it is as if saying God is unfair.. Who created life? Who gave us life?.. We can't always get what we want, that's a fact.. it's all about perspective.. Actually, if you try to look at things clearly, it's all my fault.. i asked for it.. so whatever is happening to me , i am taking full responsibility.. it's not his fault.. he made it clear but i didn't leave.. so for the nth time i'm telling you, please don't hate him..

i won't say anything.. (Teddy Geiger)

Contemplating over River's death

APRIL 23, 2010... Friday

Contemplating over River's death.. Oh yeah! River's dead.. River who? Baby River.. died at the age of two.. such a short time to live,such a tragic death.. I could still remember playing with him everytime his lola brings him to our home.. kicking that fancy stuffed ball as if playing soccer indoors.. his smile was so real.. his laugher was contagious.. i miss him...

His death made me think what if that was me? would i be ready? would the people around me now, miss me when i'm gone?... i really don't know....

would i be really proud of myself?... i dunno.. should i be?.. don't wanna be the judge.. but i'd like to think that those people i'm with now, would appreciate those simple things i did and will still do in the future ... this is why i would like to keep this page for as long as i can, so when i get old i get to read over these pages again and reminisce all the things from the past...

my LOST SUMMER (a memoir)

Been loving summer ever since i dont know when.. it never ended.. i never stopped... tried liking another season but at the end of the day i find myself still looking for that prickly heat that the summer sun brings.. it's hot.. it burns.. and it burns like hell..

but guess u can't keep anything forever.. especially when you are no longer in control.. sometimes, u have to take a little time off the sun to cool down a bit and excuse yourself from further damage... seasons change... eventually, that lost summer will regain it's life...

April 9, 2010... Friday

deep contemplation.. actually it was unplanned... things didn't go well that night.. it was almost midnight and i was eating at DIMSUM alone.. to my surprise i didn't finish the noodle that i was eating... it's just so not me..

after that unfinished meal, found myself walking along the lonely streets of downtown.. i didn't have an exact place to go.. spotted DUNKIN from afar so i decided to have coffee..

a lot of things were running through my mind... some good, some bad... a lot of things not worth thinking... found myself biting my stirrer again... guess i just needed a little comfort...



April 10, 2010... Saturday

woke up early... not the best way to wake up though... had a late breakfast... buffet wasn't that good i should say... after eating i took some fun shots again... guess i should call this my trademark pose.. lol


Lunchtime.....



Had lunch at Marina, Lanang... not really in the mood for eating... i was thinking too much that time... thinking of the things that i'd rather not think if only i can....

April 11, 2010... Sunday

Didnt feel good when i woke up... SUPER HEADACHE!... if only i can tell the whole story on what had happened that dawn... but i guess it's none of anybody's business so i'd rather zip my mouth and keep my silence... besides, i am not really a fan of advices... i hate it... it's like if i need your help all you have to do is shut your mouth and listen.. just let me do the talking... i would appreciate it more that way...

went to class with a major headache.. had to go to the lavatory a number of times to vomit.. i was really not feeling well... it was just a shitty day for me... dropped by Mandarin to have my asado,chicken,wanton noodle soup...

i was supposed to go to my cousin's birthday party... but i decided to go home and just take a rest and hopefully a break with the effin head and heart aches...

April 14, 2010... Wednesday

Met up with someone to deliver a pair of swimsuits... since my HOME ALONE life started last monday, i decided to buy new plates, glasses and etc... lol... call it diversion...lol..

had my famous bowl at KFC for dinner...

April 18, 2010.. Sunday

class ended early... ate with my girls at Time Square.. had ham and cheese bunwich and this arrozcaldo... the egss were not actually included but still i got them for free... yay!....

WHO SAID I CAN'T COOK???

i actually can but i just don't want to... but last Friday i decided to treat myself... too bad my sissy's not around, she can't eat these yummy treats... lol

April 16, 2010.. Friday... SPAGHETTI ala CEANGY

April 18, 2010.. Sunday... YUMMY BULALO STEAK (credits to Icholle)

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TEA (tee-yah) (April 18, 2010)

my new hermie from CRABitat... yay!... now i have 2 babies: Vito (my virtual baby) and TEA (my little hermie)... welcome home baby T...

FROGGY TRASHY (April 18, 2010)

a froggy treat with a card from Icholle...yay! thanks te...

CARD DETAILS..

THE SUN WILL SURELY COME BACK SMILING ;-)